Back In Therapy: Session One
Yesterday I attended my first therapy session with my new therapist, and it was fantastic.
The therapist I was seeing was horrible at her job, and we got absolutely nowhere in the six months that I saw her. The therapist I was seeing could never remember what my diagnosis was, never asked me about my thoughts or feelings, and didn't ever offer any advice or teach me any coping skills, which is basically her only job.
I'll always remember in my first session after I was released from the hospital, she told me I needed to make moving out of my mom's house my first priority and that my homework for that session was to "put furniture on layaway at Big Lots in order to prepare to move." I almost laughed out loud. My first priority upon being released from the psychiatric unit of the hospital was supposed to be moving away from my only support system? OK, that makes a lot of sense.
The rest of our sessions were filled with the same kind of nonsense, and I bullshitted my way through most of them by nodding and smiling.
So, seeing this new therapist and having our first session go well was like a breath of fresh air.
I didn't realize it but, this first session was like an interview to see if this new therapist first wanted to take my case. She asked me a series of questions and had me do several assessments before deciding that she would take my case, and I am glad she did. We didn't get through all of the assessments, though, and will continue them during our next session in ten days.
She doesn't want me going more than ten days without seeing her because that's how much help she thinks that I need. She listened to me when I said that I thought my diagnosis was wrong, and upon doing a few assessments, she agreed with me. After those few assessments she also agreed that I am probably being overmedicated, and that I am not being treated properly for my borderline personality disorder.
I was so thankful and relieved that someone finally listened and agreed with me, and I am excited to continue at our next session.
I've been in and out of therapy since I was around the age of twelve or thirteen. I've been to so many therapists that I've lost count. I've been through so many because most of the therapists I have seen left while I was in their care. I also had issues with certain therapists siding with my parents over me, when my therapy was supposed to be all about me and my issues. I've always found something wrong with my therapists, and the ones I didn't find anything wrong with always left.
I believe therapy is important for those of us who suffer from mental health issues because therapy offers us a safe place to talk about what is plaguing us, and the therapists offer us unbiased, professional, and educated advice. Therapists offer a variety of different therapies such as CBT, DBT, and ACT, all of which can help us cope with our mental disorders.
Even if I didn't suffer from mental illness, I would still employ the services of a therapist. I would do so just to have a sounding board that also offered valuable advice about the issues in my life.
There is no shame in going to therapy, like I thought there used to be. As a teenager I was embarrassed to tell my friends that I was leaving school early to go to counseling. But now, I realize that everyone needs help with something at some point, and there is no shame in that. After all, only the strongest of people know when to ask for help.
I plan on continuing with therapy until I "graduate", which could be years from now. As long as it takes, I'll attend and be compliant with my treatment. I may not always like what my therapist has to say, but I know that she has my best interests and mental health in mind, and that is comforting, because usually I assume that people have the worst intentions.
I want to encourage all of you who have a hard time coping with your mental illness, or if you have a hard time coping with general life struggles, to seek therapy and give it a shot. There are really no cons to attending therapy, unless your insurance doesn't cover it and you have to pay out of pocket. I can attest to the good that therapy has done for me, and I can also attest to the downsides. There are definitely more pros than cons if you can find the right therapist, which, I admit, can be hard to do. I've been in and out of therapy for over ten years and have only had two or three therapists that I really 'meshed' with.
Don't be ashamed or embarrassed if you feel the need to go to therapy. Go in with an open mind, ready to make a change, and prepared to face some hard truths about yourself.
