When Things Don't Go As Planned
I visited my nurse practitioner today and she switched me from Adderall to Vyvansse, which I guess is a stronger version of Adderall. The affects are exciting, and I was really looking forward to adding it to my medication regimen tomorrow morning. Unfortunately, my insurance requires a prior authorization to fill this medication, and my doctor's office had closed by the time I was able to take my prescription to the pharmacy. The pharmacy said it may take a few days for the prior authorization to go through, and that I may not start my new medication until next week. This was severely disappointing, as I was already looking forward to its immediate affects; better concentration, better focus, increased mental energy, etc. I immediately became anxious and panicky and grasped for a way to cope with things not going the way I had planned them to. I rationalized and told myself that the prior authorization will come through, and then I will be able to start my medication. But until then, I have to be patient and push through the moments when I can't focus or concentrate, and I have to try hard to function even with such a low level of mental energy. I am proud of myself for being able to think rationally since I usually catastrophize everything. Being able to change my thought process on my own is a big step in my recovery, and I believe that today I took a small step toward that bigger step. Tomorrow, I am going to try and get back into the routine I had previous to this depressive episode. It will be difficult when I am so easily distracted and can't focus well, but I am going to actively try ACT therapy and push myself through my exhaustion. So, things didn't go as planned today as far as my new medication goes. But I coped through it, and will try to remain patient until I can start my new medication.
