"Just Stop Being Depressed"
Yesterday, I was reconnecting with an old friend and we got to talking about how much we have changed since we last talked. He mentioned he had lost twenty pounds, and I jokingly said that what he had lost, I had gained. He laughed, and asked why that was, and I explained that I was having a hard time losing the baby weight after the birth of my daughter, and that I was struggling with depression. I went on to explain that my depression makes it very hard for me to be active, and instead of replying compassionately, he said "well, just stop being depressed". I didn't let on, but I was infuriated. It's statements like that that are why I advocate for mental health so diligently. I told him that I couldn't "just stop being depressed", and that it is something I have to live with for the rest of my life. He said he understood because he is experiencing a rough patch at the moment, and then the conversation carried on in another direction. There are two parts of this conversation that are ridiculous and wrong. The first being that statement of "just stop being depressed" and the second being my friend saying he understood my depression. The statement he made is wrong for so many reasons. It's insensitive and ignorant and shows that people seriously don't realize that mental health is just as important as physical health. You wouldn't tell someone with a broken leg to "just walk it off". You wouldn't tell someone with the flu to "just get over it". You wouldn't tell someone with cancer to "just get better". It's the same sort of thing with depression. There is no "just stopping" when it comes to depression. Just like any physical ailment, depression needs to be treated. And when that treatment doesn't work, like when an antibiotic doesn't knock out a sickness, you're still sick, still depressed. Depression is not the same as "going through a rough patch". Depression is a mental ailment. A mental illness. It affects the body, mind, and soul of the person it afflicts, and has to be treated by a medical professional. Being sad after a breakup or disappointed about something at work is not the same as having depression. Depression is chronic, it is clinical, and it doesn't go away with a bowl of ice cream or a drink with friends. Depression can't be lifted like someone's spirits can be lifted after a let down. Depression can't be cured, but it can be treated, like any physical ailment can. Through medication, therapy, and coping skills, depression can be treated and managed so that the person afflicted can lead a normal life. The world needs to be educated about the diagnosis of depression, its symptoms, and its affects on the lives of those who suffer from it. People need to be educated so they don't make insensitive, ignorant comments like the one I received yesterday. People need to be educated so that they understand that depression is not a feeling, it is an illness, and an illness that can have lethal affects on a person's life. The way to educate the world is not only to share the facts about depression, but to share our individual stories and experiences with depression, as well. Sharing our stories will put a person behind the diagnosis, and we won't be seen merely as our illness, our depression. The conversation I had with my old friend is the exact reason why I am such an avid advocate for mental illness. Conversations like that shouldn't even be had. We need to change the conversation about mental illness from ignorant to understanding. And I'll continue to do my part in this by writing about my experiences with mental illness, and by trying to better defend myself when conversations like that do occur.
