I'm Back (Hopefully)

I haven't been active for two reasons: the past two weeks have been unbelievably busy and I just haven't felt like writing.

In the past two weeks, the semester started and Josie and I prepared and moved into our own place.

Schoolwork has taken up four to six hours of each day, and preparing to move took up the rest of each day.

Now, I have a schedule down of when to do schoolwork for which course, and now, we are settled into our new apartment and are almost done unpacking.

School has been going well. This is the second week of the semester and I believe I have a good routine and schedule down for getting my schoolwork done. The first week was overwhelming; my professors wasted no time in assigning reading and work. I knew there would be a lot of reading, but was immediately overwhelmed when I read the amount of pages that needed to be read and by when. But now, it being the second week of the semester, I have a good system of reading and taking notes and am not so overwhelmed. I am doing well in my classes so far and have received good grades on all of the assignments I have submitted, though I believe my management class will be the most difficult for me and I know I will need to spend more time going over those notes and chapters specifically. I am confident that I will do well this semester and am not really nervous about the tests at the end, yet.

I wasn't prepared to move, and didn't prepare properly. I waited until the day before the move to clean the apartment, and didn't start acquiring what I would need for our new home until after we moved in. I was so focused on it being the first week of the semester that I honestly didn't even think about the types of things we would need in our new home; trash bags, paper towels, a shower curtain, food, etc. I am only now acquiring these things and probably will continue compiling them over the weekend. Even though I wasn't prepared, and even though moving wasn't fun, we are now settled in and almost done unpacking. Josie's room is set up and I absolutely love it. My room is almost set up, and I feel very comfortable in it. The living room was set up but now needs rearranged again because I got a desktop computer that has to be connected to the internet in only a certain place. The kitchen needs some work, still, and it is at the top of my list. It is all a work in progress, and will probably continue to be until I can afford everything on my 'wish list'. Some of the things on my wish list include curtains for several rooms, a Japanese floor mattress for the living room, a bath mat, and new sheets for myself that match my comforter. I'll only be able to purchase these things probably one at a time over the next few months, and I hate that, because I want the apartment to be complete NOW. I have always had the mentality that I want what I want, when I want it, and that is NOW. Whenever I can't get something I want, I get really anxious and stressed. I am trying not to feel that way about my wish list, and am keeping it in a place where I don't constantly look at it. The apartment will come together and feel more like home, but I need to be patient.

The start of the semester and moving took a slight toll on my mental health. I was considerably more stressed than usual, but it has been manageable. I saw my new psychiatrist and I think he and I are going to be a really good fit. He sent me for some blood work to check the depakote levels and my liver, and at our appointment next week, upon receiving the results, my new doctor will change my medication and I will hopefully begin to feel normal again instead of overly fatigued and inexplicably depressed all the time. I was really pleased with how my new doctor conducted my intake appoitment. He asked me questions that no doctor ever had, and really wanted to get to the bottom of my diagnosis and whether or not it was correct. Like I said, I believe the two of use will be a good fit and that he will meet my psychiatric needs.

The past two weeks have been so busy and so stressful. With the semester starting, being unprepared to move and then moving and settling, and seeing my new doctor, my stress level has been elevated but is now returning to normal. In the next few days as I acquire more of what I need for the apartment, I believe I will start to feel more comfortable and at home in our new space. I will remain patient about the items on my wish list and accept that they all won't come to me at once. I will find comfort in knowing that Josie likes and is comfortable in her new home. I will manage my stress and anxiety effectively and not let it control me over the long weekend. I will channel my excitement over having our own place and try to see things from that perspective. The past two weeks may have been stressful, but they have also been life-changing and fruitful, and I will try to keep that in the front of my mind.